were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
