dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize