I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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