quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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