I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
