I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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