His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize