Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
