If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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