We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
