We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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