we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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