it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
