no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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