Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
