I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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