yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
