did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
