i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
