my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
