I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
