I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
