do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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