I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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