I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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