North Korea, Best Korea!
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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