all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
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you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
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Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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