im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
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Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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