He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
