I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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