VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
