She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
