You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
