Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
