Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
