i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
