do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Randomize
