I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
