i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
