She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
