I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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