I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Oh god it's open bar.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
