My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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