dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
