how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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