I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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