Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
