I smell stomach acid.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
