I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize