Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
