Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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