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what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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