Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
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