He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
