I wish I could teleport
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
