Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
