Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
