Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
