there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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