He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
